Starring Meryl Streep, Emily Blunt, James Corden, Anna Kendrick and Chris Pine, “Into the Woods” is a humorous and heartfelt musical that follows the classic tales of Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, and Rapunzel—all tied together by an original story involving a baker and his wife, their wish to begin a family and their interaction with the witch who has put a curse on them.
“We fled to the Philippines, which was under American occupation at the time. But it wasn’t long before the Japanese took over the islands. We were living in Manila, and when the Japanese occupied the city, they began to teach us to read and write Japanese. When the Americans came to retake the city, they invaded from the north, and the Japanese blew up the bridges and barricaded themselves in the southern part of the city where we lived. Shells were falling all around us, because the Japanese had stationed a gun encampment across from our house. One morning, we decided to make a run for the hospital, so that we could put ourselves under the protection of the Red Cross. Our neighbors were running in front of us, pushing their belongings on a pushcart, when they stepped on a land mine and the whole family was killed. We kept running, but when we got to the main street, there was a checkpoint and we weren’t allowed to cross. So we hid beneath a house, and soon we were discovered by Japanese soldiers. They lined us all up against the wall to be executed. We begged and begged and begged for our lives. They finally allowed my mother and the children to step aside, but they told my father to stay. My mother dropped to her knees and asked the Japanese commander to imagine it was his family. And he finally let all of us go.”
”IMPORTANT INFORMATION REGARDING GRAND PRIZE WINNER’S STAY AT THE HAUNTED MANSION: During the Family’s stay inside the Haunted Mansion, there will be many scary sounds, occurrences and incidents (“Occurrences”), in keeping with the style and motif of the Haunted Mansion attraction. Some of these Occurrences will include actors interacting with the Family. While these Occurrences are intended to be scary and spooky, no actor is allowed to touch any Family member, nor will there be any planned, extremely sudden, surprise Occurrences. Before entering, Winner should consider whether the Family members can handle the experience staying overnight in the Haunted Mansion. The Stay may not be suitable for younger guests. Certain restrictions shall apply to the Stay, which restrictions shall be determined by Prize Supplier in its sole discretion. A Resort Cast Member (“Cast Member”) will be available at all times in the Area during the Stay to assist the Family with any reasonable necessities. The Family must remain in the Area at all times during the Stay unless accompanied by the Cast Member. In the event any of the Family cannot complete the Stay, such person(s) will be allowed to return to the Hotel.”
…..That’s all fine and dandy until the real ghosts get pissed at you for staying overnight and start doing startling things. There should be a disclaimer about how the ride actually is haunted. Also I guess no third shift work is going to get done that night? Where are they even staying? In a doom buggy?